"Windswept plains, snow-capped mountains, volcanic plateaus, deep ravines, and thick forests are at the
heart of the Massif Central, France's geographic centre. To outsiders
this isolated and insular land is forbidding; even for inhabitants, it has
made life hard." *
When I decided to come to Clermont-Ferrand I did a
bit of research as anyone would. About every book about France I read,
would contain page after page about Paris, a good portion about the French
Riviera, and maybe four about Auvergne. The region was limited to: nice
for hiking in the surrounding mountains but nothing worth spending more than few
hours to a couple of days. To her defense she does offer more than that
you just have to look, sometimes really hard.
I have posed to a few habitants, the question,
"can you say anything good about Clermont-Ferrand?" And all but
two were speechless. They immediately took a defensive posture which set
me to thinking, this ought to be good. Besides mentioning themselves as
two of the greatest sights Clermont has to offer they went on to say. . .I'm
still waiting. The French tend to go at their own pace and oddly enough
that's what I love and hate about them.
I too have been brought up with the stereotypes
most Americans have of the French. Nonetheless, I tried to be open-minded
and give everyone their due chance. To my surprise, upon arrival, I felt
quite at home. But that was just it; I stayed at home. My interactions
with the French were limited to going to the supermarket and the corner tabac.
Now that I have spent some time here my eyes have been opened to the world of
the cold and uninviting French culture. However, I have been told that the
average Auvergnate is not representative of the French as a whole (no
generalization ever is). I have been given numerous reasons why the
Auvergnates and the Clermontois in particular, have gained such a nasty
reputation even to their fellow countrymen and to themselves.
First of those would be her geographical
location; Clermont-Ferrand is as landlocked as any place could be in France.
It is located dead in the centre of a country which is surrounded by 2,783 km of
water and contains numerous rivers. In fact it seems every city, village
and hamlet throughout France has a river cruising through her, this would also
include most places within Auvergne. However, I guess God forgot to put
one in Clermont-Ferrand a place where there is absolutely no water front
property. That is unless the local sewage treatment plant counts.
How about that weather! The winters are
cold and cloudy and the summers are hot and cloudy. It is one of those special
places on earth that even when the sky is clear it can still be raining; I have
yet to figure that one out. While rain in most places has a clean and
refreshing odour and feel in Clermont it only makes the dog poo smell that much
worse. I know what you're thinking, but I just can't exclude the element
of dog poo. We have previously learned that every French city and town has
its share of poo but for some reason God gave Clermont a few extra helpings.
I am also convinced that poo plays a key role in the never willing Clermontois
salutation, frankly they're to damn concerned with keeping an eye out for
heaping piles of merde, to look up and mumble bonjour.
Another idiosyncrasy of Clermont is the
buildings, which are so unaesthetically constructed of volcanic rock.
If you know anything about geology, you know that volcanic rock is as black
as filth. In addition, the city's "friendly" facade is
accentuated by the most forbidding gothic cathedral fabricated in, yes
volcanic rock. Even worse some of the roads and sidewalks have been
constructed in, guess what, volcanic rock. From a practical view
it does make perfect sense. While the city of Clermont is surrounded
by some of the most gorgeous and green landscape I have ever seen, under all
that lush vegetation are ancient volcanoes. And if I were a mason in
the 2nd century that's where I would be headed for my building materials,
considering that Home Depot and Mr. Bricolage didn't come around for another
1800 plus years.
Adding to the charm of the area is the key
role industry plays throughout Auvergne. First off, Clermont-Ferrand
is most notable for being the headquarters of Michelin tyre factory.
The imagery conjured up from the words "tyre factory” I’m
going to safely say are not pleasant ones; black rubber pumping out soot,
grime and filth. I mean, for God sake, they produce tyres!
In addition, let's look at some of the other major cities in the area.
There's St. Étienne, a former mining town, Roanne noted as simply
another industrial town and then there's Thiers. Thiers is described as,
"a slightly grimy but nonetheless fascinating 18th -19th-century town
that is famous for its cutlery. . .producing everything from table knives to
daggers." * Umm . . . daggers now there's an inviting
element to a town that I want to hang out in. Let's not forget Vichy, known
not so much for industry, but for being the infamous headquarters of the Pétain
government during World War II. And to round out the list, Auvergne
is famous for its Roquefort, Bleu d'Auvergne and St. Nectaire cheeses.
A perfect match, three of the smelliest cheese known to man.
It all begins to make absolute sense.
Could it be just maybe, that the Clermontois are justified in being a bit
snappy and irritable? I just don't get it though. There are over 350
000 of them so they either are too unmotivated to move, have black lung and
are physically unable to move, have lived there so long they are numb to
their environment and each other. Or there is one other possibility,
they actually love Clermont-Ferrand, well at least someone does.